I'm Still Breathing
by Zannen
Summary: You shouldn't keep what you don't want. You shouldn't want what's bad for you. You shouldn't have to give up who you are for who you love. But these are lessons hard learned and harder still to remember.


"No."

Dark eyes narrowed at the whispered statement. The single word uttered by the woman in front of him caused an almost unnoticeable tightening to gather at his shoulders. Not many in the crowded pub would have heard the woman's refusal or seen the man's clenched jaw stiffen further.

In fact, not many in the crowded pub would have cared.

"Care to repeat that?" he growled.

The petite woman shook her head and tried to meet his gaze, but failed. "I said, 'No.' Is that so hard to understand?"

She winced when his hand reached up and grabbed her upper arm. The wince turned into a look of pained pleasure when he pulled her toward him under the guise of keeping her safe from the drunken fools around them. Her head turned toward the familiar voice of her best friend asking for another round of drinks. Slowly, she felt her heart tear a little more when the shuffling crowd forced her closer to the man who was currently bruising her arm.

As cliché as it sounded…he bruised her heart just as easily.

…just as carelessly.

"You came here with me," he whispered into her ear as his free hand trailed down her back. A shiver ran down her spine and she cursed the fact that he knew her weak points so well. "You're leaving with me."

Again, she shook her head.

"No. I came here with you because I like coming here," she took a shaky step back, but kept her eyes on the floor. "I don't have to leave with you though. I can find my own way home."

"You can't do shit without me and you know it."

She flinched at his words, but didn't deny them. The crush of people around the bar pushed her slightly away from him, but his hold on her didn't let up at all.

The pain reminded her of other pains—deeper ones—and a small spark of courage flared up in her mind. Quietly, she began to speak.

"You're right," she whispered. "I lived my life for you. I waited for you. You left and I waited for you. All of the things I've done…all of the progress I've made…all of it was for you. And now you're back. You're back and I'm back at square one. I really _can't _do anything without you."

"So come on…" he grabbed her arm again and was about to leave the pub when she shook her head again.

"No," her eyes finally left the floor and glared at him. "You can't do this to me anymore. You can't expect me to come whenever you want me to and expect me to ignore the rest of your life—the rest of your _women._ I deserve better than a roll in the hay once a week because you feel like it. And I damn well deserve better than being ignored and kept on a leash for your benefit. I once thought that my happiest moments were when you were there. But now I think that I'm actually happier when you _aren't._"

"I don't care if you're lonely," she continued. "I don't care if you're horny. If it's that bad, have your mistress—have your _whore_—take care of it. I'm finished."

The man stared down at his companion. She was so easy to manipulate…so easy to mold into whatever he wanted. At least…she _was_. Something changed her and he couldn't say he didn't like it. She was more interesting now—at this moment—than she had been in the past four years.

"Sure you are," he smirked.

"I am," she said again. "I'm finished. I won't come back to you."

She turned to leave, but forgot about his hold on her arm. A startled yelp emerged from her lips when he pulled her toward him again—violently.

"As long as I'm in your life, you won't be able to help yourself," he whispered against her neck. A grin formed on his face when he felt her body melt against his.

"You're right," she sobbed. Gripping for the strength she had, she ripped herself away from her tormentor. "So all I have to do is erase you from it."

She didn't look back as she ran out of the pub. She closed off her ears to his shouting and closed off her heart as it began to shatter. She just kept running until she was standing in a familiar office, looking at a familiar face.

"Shishou…" she panted. "Request for a long-term mission outside our borders."

The blonde woman stared at her apprentice and sighed. She'd expected this for some time now and was inwardly relieved that the time had finally come. What she had witnessed in the past few weeks concerning the young woman and her relationship with her dark eyed youth was the very definition of "self-destructive behavior."

"Request granted," she answered. "Here is a scroll with the details. You leave in two hours, so start packing…and Sakura?"

The pink haired woman paused in grabbing the scroll and looked at the Hokage.

"Be safe."

* * *

**A/N:**

I know it's kinda angsty, but I'm having a tough time dealing with things. If you're a regular reader of mine, then you know what _things_ I've been going through. If you're new to my style and my writing, then I won't bore you with them.

Don't know if this is a one-shot or the start of something else. I'm in too dark of a place to work on my other stuff, so this might be my therapy for a while.

For those who wait for "Time Waits For No Man" (ha…ha…) again, I apologize.

Ja ne.

Zannen


End file.
